Ro Ro Ro Your Boat...GENTLY Down Your Stream

I will find the answer if I let it go Give myself sometime to falter Everything will come around In time

Tonight I spoke with my dear friend Rochelle. It was AWESOME. Skype is a technological miracle, and I am so grateful to connect with those I love. Like most of you, Ro thinks what I am doing is brave and exciting. Not to burst her or your bubble, yet I told her it is mind numbing how normal life is carrying on as I carry on around the globe. I typically feel behind in emails, blogs, and posting pictures. I often wait until the last minute to make reservations be it accommodations, train, or plane and end up with not quite what I wanted, yet with it all working out in the end. I don’t make it to bed early enough, and leave the dishes for the next day, and wake up late only to leave brushing to the chewing gum.

Rochelle reminded me how fortunate I am, getting to experience such vastly different places, cultures, and people during this stretch of time. She listened as I moaned about my neighbor/housekeeper who is eating my chocolate, accidentally locking me out, and calling my digestive cookies ‘dog food’. I went on to brag and beam that I love the girls and women at the center I am volunteering at and that they love me! I teach impromptu to dances classes, feel productive and useful in English class, and most importantly-finally feel free to be my silly seriously goofy self.

She asked me more questions, and I continued to rattle on about ‘Incredible India’ and how I am in love with the head tilt jiggle. I boasted at how I did it myself unconsciously yesterday after only 4 days in India, and how I received many eager and happy girly tilts in return.

And then it DAWNED on my to ask her about HER in return.

The lumpectomy was a success which she knew directly after surgery on Friday. She received her prognosis from the doctor today that 14 of the 16 lymph nodes are clear, leaving just two as pooh stubbornnotgettingthehinttheyarenotwelcome left.

Yes, while I have been prancing around the world, Rochelle, Queen of Roboobia, has been battling breast cancer.

When I gleefully come across her on FB chat, or reach her my voice or video, she is positively interested in me. My goings and comings, my interactions with people, my health, safety, and so on.

I seriously tend to forget she is going through this war on herself while speaking with her. Instead, I get this burst of energy, surge of happiness, and feel ladles of her love lapping over me.

Towards the end of the inandoutSkypefromonehalfoftheplanettotheotheroverinternet call, she tells me about some documentary that she is going to send me in email. She was going to do it , ‘right now’ so that she wouldn’t forget to send it to me.

I receive the email with two attachments. The first is a zip file with PDF documents about the director, producer, and the timeline for the film. I am a bit curious as to why I should bother with all that stuff, and look at the second MOV attachment that has only download 4% and figure I should take a look at the first. I first read about the director-never heard of her, then move on to the producer, and I am starting to feel like I should recognize something. I like the title, “Right Where I Belong” straight away without knowing what it is referring to, beyond applying it to my own life. It is not until I start reading about the film, that I see Rochelle’s name.

The film is a documentary about her experience with breast cancer.

The trailer has downloaded, and with it my tears, my guilt, my frustration, and most importantly my renewed admiration for Rochelle.
I watch it again, crying the full 3 minutes. I then go to her blog, and reread, and shamefully-read for the first time about her experiences in the last 5 months. Tears were steady, and began to pound behind my temples. Could it really be that long that she has been dealing with this? How could I be so blind to all the trauma, pain, and fear that Ro Ro-who is so near and dear to my heart, has been experiencing?

Looking for comfort, I ran to iTunes to listen to songs that make me feel connected to Ro. I typed in Wicked, “ For Good “ and realized it is only on my recently lost iPod. I next typed in Sarah , and got “Perfect Girl”, a song until now I hadn’t especially like.

The first line seemed to be the questions I was feeling, and the chorus felt like answers from Ro.

Am I faithful? I am I strong?

Don't worry you will find the answer if you let it go Give yourself some time to falter But don't forgot know that you're loved no matter what And everything will come around in time
This is how I feel every time I speak with her. That I am on a journey to find some answers, and to take my time and enjoy. If there are times of doubt, times I want to run home, to remember that she loves me no matter what.

Towards the end of our phone call, we were both marveling at the different paths that our lives were taking, and yet how important it was to be ourselves, independently growing and feeding our souls the lessons that would create our true selves. I wanted a hug from her at the end of our phone call, and yet I knew I had just received one.

Tonight I was going to do the normal and mundane things that life requires. Go to bed early, find out more information about the trains and hostels, answer emails, cook dinner, and read my novel until I fell asleep.

Instead, I received a astounding jolt through visual image and sound of the tumult that Rochelle lives everyday.

Again, I am so grateful for technology that connects me with those I love.

I am so proud and amazed by Rochelle’s fortitude and ability to share her experience so that others might grow and feel empowered to find their true self.

Tonight, I took one step closer to mine my true self. Thank you Rochelle for loving me and allowing me to attend to my journey as you attend to yours.


To read about Rochelle’s light and energy that shrunk her cancer go to: http://www.navigatorgaia.blogspot.com/