If They Could See Me Now…

I wonder what they’d do. Kick me out? Reprimand me for laying my clothes out on the grass to dry in the sun? Or, would it be that I am using the reading room to type?

I just find it fascinating that I am asking the questions at Sri Audibindo’s Ashram, Park Guest House.

When I first arrived two days ago I was in utter bliss. I couldn’t believe that this place was right on the ocean, and quiet, and Sir Audibino and The Mother’s collective! I had struck gold. I was asked to read the rules, to make sure I could agree to them. Some being:

No Visitors - I knew no one here.
No Alcohol or Smoking- Easy
Doors close by 10:30pm- Looking forward to maintaining a trekking schedule of early to bed, early to rise
Check out by 12pm- Can’t imagine that is a problem

I agreed and was shown my room: Third floor, balcony that face the ocean and sunrise, while remain private to other guests. I could do yoga here! I could do yoga naked here (sorry if that was TMI). I am in bliss. I got my things in. Took a rinse of the sticky sweat shower and felt refreshed for 3 minutes. Headed to the canteen (as they closed in 10 minutes) for some dinner. Had a delicious lassi and edible noodles (top roman style) with ‘cheese’ on top, then dashed outside to walk along the beach front. I returned before curfew, read about allowing the body to rest just before sleep (one of many informative notices adorning the walls) and enjoyed a heavenly sleep with windows open as to be lulled by the crashing waves in my room dubbed, “integrity”.

The next day the ashram atmosphere continued to awe me. As I walked around the garden and grounds, I began to read the many stones, notices, or art that invited me to be calm, tranquil, and learn.

In the meditation room:
What do I need to learn? What do I need to change? How can I take what I have and transform it into growth?

In the canteen:
Food is an integral part of our nourishment. Chew slowly and give mindfulness to what the food is providing for your body. Control your food. Allow the sniff of flowers to nourish the body too.

In the stairway:
You could just see the stairs as something you must go up and down. Yet allow yourself to feel the body’s ability and strength grow with every step you take.

In the garden:
The grass love’s your feet. Open yourself to the garden’s influence….Stop in it…observe..identify..grow…let each step be a revelation.


Here I was surrounded by knowledge, and I began to feel uplifted and inspired to be my true self!

I passed the afternoon in my room and garden reading. It was glorious. That afternoon I went out to explore Pondicherry and find one of the scrumdilicious French restaurants I had heard so much about. I returned just before 7pm with excited about attending the Transgender Festival being held the next night. I went to ask permission, that if the bus returned later than the stated 10:30, would they let me in?

NO

I received this answer from reception while he busied himself with his cell phone. Deflated, I tried to ask if there were somewhere-

NO

This time cutting me off mid sentence and still not giving me the common decency to pretend to be paying me any attention.

“Um, I was about to ask.”

YOU ARE NOT UNDERSTANDING? NO. THAT IS THE RULE. THE DOORS WILL NOT OPEN FOR YOU. THE ANSWER IS NO AND IT WILL NOT CHANGE FOR YOU. UNDERSTAND?

I understood that I was getting upset. I understood that he was being rude. And I could not understand how this was happening at an ASHRAM for goodness sake.

I ridiculously got on my teacher self and tried to school him in some cell phone etiquette and reception manners. Waste of time.

The next morning, I went to inquire about renting a bicycle.

Would you like a two wheeler?

My mind froze, as I was unsure if this was humor or if they offered tricycles for the balance challenged.

Hello madam. Two wheeler or bicycle? Do you know what you want? Today only? I am asking you which you prefer…

He -different reception dude- continued in the rapid fire questioning for sometime, and after attempting to get in an answer twice I shut my two fine lips together in meditative closure. Finally, when it seemed he had used all his breathe, I ventured to state that I thought the sign read they did not offer scooters, IF that was what he was referring to when asking me about a two wheeler, as if it matter to him, bicycles also have two wheels.

By now I was wondering if the receptions folks are trained in anti-ashram practices in order to push guests to the limits of mind over body power, as I was feeling the tinge to kick him in the shins- accidentally of course.

At check out time, I brought my required blue card that I was instructed to have give and key. They took nor looked at either. I saw a place for the key labeled “checking out”, yet nothing for the card, so I left it on the counter. I waited patiently for either the woman or man to look up at me, and after a minute finally asked if there was a place I could leave my bag for the next hour.

NO

Unashamedly, I asked if there was a place to leave my clothes to hang and dry- fully knowing the answer, yet wondering how many negative replies I could get without eye contact.

NO

Could I ask the bellboy guys to keep it? Could I type on my computer in the lounge? May I still order something from the canteen now that I had checked out? Was I now considered a visitor? Did I have access to the garden anymore? Did they notice any of the teachings? Were they believers? Do you even like people?

And as Amy Winehouse sang:

NO. NO. NO.

Okay, I didn’t ask any of those last questions…because I didn’t want to hear the answer. Especially after the bell boy tried to put my bag behind his desk, and we both got denied, again.

So instead, I followed my inner voice and went straight to the canteen and ordered a coffee. Asked for some ice (got initial NOs here, yet I knew their hearts weren’t black and smiled and explained). And made (definitely to the shocked of the canteen workers) an iced coffee to calm my nerves. Then I went and laid my clothes out on the grass to dry (far from the eyes of reception) and am presently sitting in the ‘reading’ room typing away. I wonder what they do if they could see me (and my underwear) now.

Why? Because I say:

YES. YES. YES.

Wonder of Wonders, Miracle of Miracles

Wonders #1:
The internet was working at the café this morning before 8am in Kathmandu, allow me to speak with my dear friend thru google video.

Of Wonder #1:
Why don’t the management or waiter ever seem to know when the internet is working or not.

Miracle #1:
Able to repack bags, speak with friend, eat yogurt, drop off laundry, print up letter for VISA and get taxi all by 8:30am.

Wonders #2:
On the way to Chinese Embassy I feel confident and happy that I will arrive on time as the doors open, thus a sign that the doors will be open to a double entry VISA.

Of Wonder #2:
Why there are pages missing from my passport, including my Indian VISA and all the pages after 27. I look at picture and do not recognize myself…because it is not myself!

Miracle #2:
Taxi driver changes course and takes me to opposite end of town to Immigration Office to return identified unidentified passport and pick up mine. As it turns out, the woman, married to Nepal’s most famous actor (cannot release her name as story might make it to press -causing an international scandal) had yet to pick up passport up, and mine was waiting patiently for me.

Of Wonder #3:
Why the Immigration officials would not return the 500 Rs (7 USD) I paid for rush processing, as they had made a major blunder in handing over the wrong passport. True, I could have checked to make sure it was mine, yet after two people checked the receipt I gave them before handing over ‘my’ passport , I ASSUMED (ass out of you and me) that is was the correct one- and had only bothered to check the extended VISA was correct.

Wonder #3
That whole process had only taken 30 minutes!! Wow! Perhaps I could make it to the Chinese Embassy by 9:15 am, as the taxi driver was waiting outside to take me there.

Wanderings #1:
There are two Chinese Embassies…old and new. Where to go for VISA? I had address for old…taxi believes that is correct. As we pass the new one, he points it out, and I tell me to pull over and I will go and ask. He cruises by and responding that it is the old one, and not this embassy. We continue and I realize I might need more Rupees if they do not take USD, so we stop at an ATM…and I am ready! I run up to embassy, and security tells me it is the other embassy I must go to. Jump back in taxi, we head over to other embassy, zooming around cars, scooters, people, rickshaws, motorcycles, police directing traffic…and arrive. There is a HUGE line down the street- happily its for Qatar airlines. I run to the gate, security directs me to the other gate…I run and it is sealed shut!

Of Wonder #4:
Why do guards only open a steel gate only 3 inches wide and seemed to be impatient when they cannot understand what one is trying to say?

No Wonder #1:
The Chinese Embassy ‘boss’ told security that immigration/VISA would close today at 10am.
“ Come back Friday”… awesome…my plane leaves Friday.

Of Wonder #5:
What do I do now? Go to the Thai Embassy to see if the VISA requirements are changing for entry there? (a girl at immigration mentioned it yesterday). Go visit one of ‘wonders’ of Kathmandu? Patan? Bakhtapur? Pashupatinath?

Wanderings #2:
I sulked away from the embassy. I stop in at two travel agents hoping they will miraculously solve my VISA problems with some super sonic connection they have. No such luck. I pass a movie theatre and wonder if I should hide out in there, masking my tears as a reaction to some sad drama I could watch. I pass the Palace and wander over to a guard and ask about buses. He shrugs, raises his eyebrows, and I can only hope he was smiling under his pollution mask, trying to let me down easy due to lack of understanding. I find myself at the corner of honking and motors running, still without direction. I head over to the shady side of the street and realize I have found my way home: Embassy of the U.S.A.

Wonders #4
Wonderful woman tries to answer my questions about VISAs, and sites. She kindly directs me to where the buses congregate, so that I can hop on one to Patan. She gave such careful and accurate directions that I left cheered and confident of my decision to sight see.

Miracle #3
I found the bus. I got on it. After 10 minutes, it left. It stopped ONLY once. At that stop, an American volunteer got on bus and recommended Dhokaima Café for lunch. She mentions cheese. She mentions basil. She mentions arugula. She walks me part way and wishes me well. I wish her a glorious life. She tosses me a suggestion to walk into open doorways, as the often lead to private temple courtyards.

Wonders #5:
I skipped 250Rs Durbar Square and wander past a open doorway that gleamed of gold. I retreat back and enter into the Golden Temple. As I am not wearing leather shoes I can enter with mine intact. Wow. Beautiful art, sculpture and work. Photo heaven.

Miracle #4
I find the restaurant. From the outside it looks tiny, dirty, and old. From the inside it looks smaller, with a cake display, and only one table. I inquire about lunch and am lead through a doorway ….to a luxious garden courtyard!!!!! (Sara had forgotten to mention the scenery, probably as she saw I was so caught up in the food). I had a sweet lassi. (oh..heavenly cool). I had a grilled cheese with tomatos, basil, and …parmesan type cheese. Homemade chips on the side, with a few slices of the most tasty cucumbers marinated with red onions and tiny tips of green hot peppers. Divine!

Miracle #5:
Dessert. Deserves its own paragraph. Apple and banana spring rolls with chocolate ginger sauce and a scoop of vanilla ice cream. The chocolate was fudgey on the ice cream. The spring rolls were crunchy, sweet, and dripping with melt cream and sauce. They soothed my VISA troubles away. I got an iced coffee to wash it down.

Of Wonder #6:
Can I lick the plate?

Wonders #6:
I finished lunch at 1:30. The Chinese Embassy opens at 2:30 for those lucky enough to PICK UP their generously rewarded VISAs. Should I leave this oasis and try again? I have enough time to get there before the steel wall will slide open. I walk out of the café, and a taxi is there…and AGREEs to my price. I get to the embassy at 2pm. At 2:30 the iron curtain rolls open 12 inches…”Tibetians Only”. Five minutes later…they let us all in, and I slip in without a slip.


Of Wonder #7:
Why must my turn be after the screaming swearing girl who curses the embassy official?

Wonder of Wonder, Miracle of Miracles
The official looks at my documents and asks why I need to go twice. I explain the itinery of the tour group my parents joined, leaves mainland for Singapore, then returns to the mainland after 3 days. He says the rule at this embassy is if you are going to China for the first time, you may only enter once. He tells me I can get another VISA in Hong Kong. I say that I was hoping to spend that time with my family, as they were coming so far to see me. He looks are me, and says:

“Okay. For this special reason.”

I can’t hold back, I cry with relief and joy!

Xie xie!